We resume our study of the three stages of a man’s (or woman’s) life by look at Examples of Wisdom
The Lord Jesus Christ arose triumphant from His wounding. We see Him reconnecting with His disciples, encouraging them in their dismay and bringing reconciliation with Peter who denied Him. The God-Man, Jesus Christ, has gone on to bring salvation to multitudes. He is the Ruler not only of His own soul, but also of the universe; the sage of all time. The Lord of everything.
Moses God had to build an air-tight case in lawyerly fashion in Exodus 3 and 4 to overcome the negative drag of 40 years of defeatist thinking. But once that attitude was reversed, Moses grew magnificently into the role of liberator. Moses went on to the most productive time of his life, starting at 80 years of age. He experienced God as few men ever have. Whereas God spoke indirectly to most prophets, God pointed out that He spoke face-to face with Moses. In one of the longest interviews ever granted by the Almighty, God gave the Law to Moses.
Elijah was re-commissioned by God and given a friend — Elisha. Young Elisha eventually became the resident prophet. Meanwhile, he was a colleague from whom Elijah could get a second opinion. Both men benefitted from Elijah mentoring the younger man. Elijah served in a more quiet ministry for a decade before the fiery chariot took him home.
Job went on to have a second family and was honored more than in his warrior phase.
Joseph became the prime minister of Egypt and was responsible for saving the lives of multitudes of people through his storage of food. Joseph was greatly used by God to prepare the way for his family as they came down to Egypt, preserving their lives.
Have I come into the wisdom phase yet? I don’t know. I will report, you decide. After the meltdown in Iowa, we went to Grand Rapids, Michigan, to recover and redirect. GR was where Marilyn grew up and her family still lived there. The seminary was a warm spot for me, so the city held out the most favorable environment for healing. We attended Blythefieild Hills Church. It had a stable of guys recuperating from disastrous local church abuses. I think I was the eighth pastor in their E.R.
Gradually I came to realize I was not a failure. God was simply qualifying me for Advanced Training 503. He was positioning Marilyn and me for greater intimacy with Himself. God was giving us the ultimate gift – Himself. How gracious the Lord has been to us. We look back and have concluded that our response was all of grace. We have seen other men – who appeared to go through less – become bitter and withdraw. Only God’s mercy has kept us from anger. How merciful God has been to Marilyn and me.
Three Clouds
But that was not obvious to us in 1998 when we moved back to Grand Rapids, humiliated and defeated. Instead, (1) we felt victimized, (2) we felt no one was listening to us and (3) we went through an emotional cycle as we searched for another pastorate. Some details will assist the reader to connect with these hot buttons.
1. The Victim Card For some years I took the victim interpretation. “I am a victim of what others have done to me. While I was not perfect, some of my critics have been carnal and wrong.”
Gradually God helped me see His greater purposes. He helped me to recognize the sanctifying process that He was leading. God is the
One Who sanctifies us. God is at work, even though He uses injustice and the sinfulness of people. We are dealing with God. He has home-court advantage; life unfolds on His turf. When we experience wounding, it is God who is behind that wounding. He allows it or initiates it without being responsible for the sin of the human agents. God carves on our lives. He is the great Sanctifier. Everything that comes to us is Father-filtered. Without excusing the sinfulness of others, God still is in control of what happens to us. Gradually, slowly, as God continued to provide for us and lead us and love us, I stopped playing the victim card as I saw what God was doing – positioning us to experience Him – His kindness, faithfulness and love. We became candidates for an inner-circle experience. What a privilege!
2. Listening & Forgetting During our dark post-Iowa days in Grand Rapids, it seemed no one was really listening to our saga. Some believers were as kind to us as they could be without having experienced such disaster Friends tried and were well-meaning. Others seemed to be coming from a real-men-don’t-talk-about-their-problems orientation, so we felt alone.
Gradually, slowly, we came to realize that many people did care and a few had excellent listening skills.
God had not forsaken us. It is true that some people in the organizations we left were glad we were gone, but others cared. True, life flowed on for the majority of the people. People had to make a living. But some listened. Not as many or as much as our sinful natures would prompt us to believe was our due, but some did listen.
For me, growth was refusing (1) to play the victim videos and (2) metabolizing nourishment from Scripture and godly people near us.
As the years go by and I grow in grace, I have to get out our old church telephone books to remember the names of the people who misused their power and abused us. Blessed lifting of the past. Happy forgetfulness. Later, I would travel back and forth daily on a major highway with the same name as one of the individuals who led an effort to get rid of me. I don’t think of him when I hear the name of that highway. A given person is just a tool in God’s hand. God could have used anyone or anything. So getting angry at a particular person does not make sense.
We knew we were healing when we no longer felt compelled to share our story and when we ceased thinking everyone was gawking at the emotional rip in the seat of our pants.
3. The Cycle was the third cloud in our Grand Rapids sky. Though I had worked many secular jobs, for the last 30 years I had been a pastor. So if I wasn’t pastoring, I was “homeless.” When a church looking for a pastor would call, our hopes would rise. A second call would come a week later and we were encouraged. Then a third call. Things were “coming together” for another pastorate. Then silence. And hope faded. Five weeks later a different church would call. This cycle was repeated numerous times in the two years we lived in Grand Rapids. It had not been difficult to “get a church” before.
I wish we could say that we responded in faith, slept well at night, rested in our Father and focused on growing. Instead, God dragged us – complaining and insecure – toward the greatest experience of our lives. The Creative One is not content for us to not discover Him, so He arranges our circumstances to force us into discovery mode. He arranges our faith training. The greatest thing that will ever happen to us is to experience the living God. So now, in an infinitesimally small way, Marilyn and I know God more than we otherwise would. And the whole painful mess turned out to be a loving thing because experiencing God is life’s ultimate!
Hebrews 12:3 says, “Consider Him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.” Our hardships should motivate us to investigate His hardships; our suffering, His suffering. This is how we learn to appreciate what Jesus Christ did for us.
If we come out of pain, injustice and hardship with more of God and with a clearer understanding of what it meant for Jesus Christ to die for us, we have wrestled enormous gain from the jaws of bitterness. It is worth it. What a ride!
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