Where does gratitude rank on your list of godly virtues? Right up there with obedience, love, faith, hope, joy, patience and longsuffering? Or is gratitude second tier; important, but not crucial. Down there with hospitality and cheerfulness—nice but not as important?
“Thank you” are two of the first words we are taught to say, but there is a great difference between learning to say thank you and having a grateful heart. We can say thank you and still not have a grateful heart!
But trying to sustain persevering faith without a grateful heart is impossible. Try being a person who loves without gratitude, and over time your love will crash and burn. Try being a person who sacrificially gives of herself without gratitude, and you will find every ounce of joy drained by a martyr’s complex. Have you ever said to yourself, “Nobody is working as hard as I am. Why doesn’t anyone help me? Why do I always have to clean up the kitchen?”
We can choose to either whine or worship, complain, or choose gratitude. And we can’t truly worship without giving thanks. It just isn’t possible. There is a fragrance that comes forth when we choose gratitude in the middle of difficult situations.
Gratitude perfumes everything!
Whining and complaining become a destructive slide that leads to broken relation-ships and bitterness. How many marriages would have survived if each partner had learned to worship instead of whine? How many teenagers would have been kept from a life of sin and rebellion if mom and dad had taught them to worship and not whine? A relative of ours does not allow whining in her home. Her children were taught no whining since they were little. I’m sure they all have their moments and still do, but what a good thing to teach her (and our) kids.
Think about the futility in whining. What good does it do? It rarely changes things. It just spreads our complaining and sometimes a bitter attitude. Who wants to listen to that? Bitterness is contagious.
Yes, life hurts. We seek out supportive shoulders to cry on (and yes, there is a time for that). We tell ourselves that if we just don’t think about it, it will go away. But most likely, no matter how hard we try to deal with problems on our own, it doesn’t just go away and we end up by crying out, “But why me, Lord? Why is life so hard? Why won’t people just love me for me? Why isn’t God answering my prayers? Why does this problem never seem to end?”
We’ve all been there and we’ve probably all done that! But did it help? No! We know that doesn’t work. We continue to feel betrayed, hurt, inferior, mistreated , or unappreciated. Be it a difficult child, frustrating job, medical issue, in-law problems, or a habit that doesn’t go away—there is plenty of fodder for whining. Any of those matters or a thousand others can drag us down into the pit of self-pity. Have you been there? We all have!
But what breaks the cycle of self-pity? We need to choose gratitude, to worship and not to whine. We need to discipline our minds. We need to look up and see the big picture, to ask ourselves what does God want me to learn through this? We need to keep our heads up. Don’t say things to yourself like, “But you don’t know what I’m going through.” God does know what you’re going through! Maybe you’ve accepted outwardly your difficult situation, but you’re thinking giving thanks is one step too far!
As difficult as it may seem when going through trials, choosing gratitude is the key to rising above wallowing in self-pity. Faith that trusts God will spread the fragrance of gratitude. When we can be grateful for what God is teaching us through critical people and harsh situations, we are well on our way to maturity.
Choosing gratitude is a lifestyle, a new way of thinking. It can become the fragrance that perfumes everything.
By Marilyn Kaynor
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