The young geniuses at left have some expectations. They plan to storm the scientific community and render a vast service to humanity. Maybe they will discover the mystery of perpetual motion. We wish them well. In 1947 Allen Dulles, head of the C.I.A., said the American people expected his organization to be on a first-name basis with God and know that a war was going to break out at 5:41 PM on Tuesday. A young woman missionary—new to her field in Africa–expected the team leader to tell her what to do.
The American man leading the mission station in Africa expected this new arrival–the young woman referred to above–to take initiative to find a ministry. She expected him to guide her to where he–as the leader of the field–wanted her to serve. The situation didn’t meet her expectations and the leader foolishly failed to protect his team by providing adequate leadership.
She eventually returned home telling her supporters that God had directed her to do so. What tragic, needless accounts. What a waste of people’s talents, time, money and gifting. A choleric, alpha self-starter male with no time to waste working on his bedside manner or hand-holding, he was unaware of her need. She sat in her rented house, cried, and then went home. Later, when they realized what happened—and saw each other’s viewpoints—both parties were embarrassed.
Consider the expectations of Benício—a fictitious, composite character—who believed fervently that God had called him to be a foreign missionary and he expected God would use him to lead many people to Christ. He was very focused and determined as he thoroughly searched the internet for the right mission, filled out the required application, and attended orientation.
Missionaries are highly motivated people–they want to get into the action. They have left home, the known, and the comfortable to go into a foreign situation, so they have strong ideas. By the time they arrive on a field they have been fed a steady diet of, “Go out there and make things happen . . . take the lead in pioneering for God.” So naturally they are going to feel strongly about some issues and have significant expectations.
Benício had many ideas and was sure his colleagues would see the value of his vision.
After being accepted into the mission he wrote to friends and churches who knew him and was thrilled when many responded and committed themselves to supporting him. Benício reached his place of service in record time and was ready to make his mark on the world for God with his vision and new ideas.
Instead of seeing his new ideas take hold, he found that the team leader wasn’t as excited about his vision as he was. They already had a vision which the team had been working on for quite some time.
They weren’t opposed to his ideas, but month after month his ideas were largely ignored and sometimes even criticized. Benício became increasingly angry and began to resent the team director and his colleagues. His anger resulted in heated arguments and a lack of submission on his part.
What happened? Benício’s expectation became unbalanced and morphed into a weakness. He insisted that his ideas were the right ideas and couldn’t understand why the others didn’t see it. His strengths became his weakness; he became bossy, critical, argumentative and developed an unsubmissive spirit.
The work was at a standstill. Leaders from the mission were called in and Benício was asked to return home for further training and mentoring.
A certain Christian college was highly thought of by two couples, both of whom had met there. Twenty years after they had graduated they were enthusiastic about their sons and daughter attending the same college. To get their sons and daughter motivated to attend, they built it up so much that it could not live up to the second generation’s expectations. The oldest daughter came home after two years.
A fine young couple—he a graduate in theology and she a medical doctor—went to a mission field. But the field was understaffed, so instead of teaching theology—his first love—he had a lot of administration dumped on him. He expected to teach, had prepared himself to teach and was determined to teach. He had raised support on the basis that he would be teaching. But the on-field missionary community—many of whom had the attitude, “Ya do what’s needed, the field grows and in a few years, you get to do what you want”—felt the young man was not a team player and was unwilling to “pay his dues.” The couple left the field, came home, and changed missions.
Young parents can have many expectations. Though never admitting it—even to themselves—they expect to be perfect parents and have the perfect child. They prepare diligently, including playing music to their unborn child (left), deepening their expectation. Those with the gift of administration, those who like to plan and are visionaries who know “just how things should be done” are vulnerable to exaggerated expectations. They think no other ideas are needed. That makes for conflict with colleagues. .So balance is critical. Yes, plan. Yes, seek to be organized. But realize the Lord may overrule us at any time and the gifting of others may need to be incorporated.
When we expect too much, we set ourselves up for failure. On the other hand, having expectations is a result of vision, planning, praying, waiting, and working. So it is a delicate balance. But the point of this article is to ask, “Are our expectations reasonable? Achievable? Can most participate in what we are proposing? Are we being dominate to an improper degree? Are our expectations balanced?
Ps. 62:5 “My soul, wait thou only upon God, for my expectation (hope in the NIV) is from Him.”
Keith Kaynor
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