You know what is going on in your life.  You are aware of what is happening and you are making things happen.  You are in control.  You decide to clean the garage today or mow the grass;  what to wear and have for lunch.  You decide to work for a given company and not another. You are aware and in control.  

On the other hand, we are blind and have little control. A young man thinks he is good at hockey, unaware that he is average.  A writer thinks he is saying something of value, but others are indifferent. 

We think slowly as a conversation swivels around us and laugh 15 seconds after others have moved on to a different joke or topic.  We do not know what is going on, sensing it only in slow motion . . . like we are automatons looking from the outsides at ourselves experiencing something.   We are not very smart.  Like we are living in a daze, and events are happening to us rather than being caused by us.  

For example, we read in John 12:16:  “At first His disciples did not understand all this.  Only after Jesus was glorified did they realize that these things have been written about Him and that they had done these things to Him.”   

What does this mean?  First, it means they did not know their Bibles (“. . . these things have been written about Him”).  How many times have you read the Bible through?  I have been a Christian for 55 years.  My annual reading of the Bible means that I should know it reasonably well.  But I sense my dullness of mind.  My lack of “getting it.”  It does not grab a-hold of me like I think It should.   

Matthew 13:13 says that whoever has will be given more, but whoever does not have, even what he has will be taken away from him.  To explain this further, our Lord said the reason He spoke in parables was so that “. . .  though hearing, they do not understand.”  Mystery.  We have some awareness and control;  but our awareness and control are limited.   

Second, John 12:16 shows us the disciples participated in events (“. . .  they had done these things to Him.”),  the significance of which they did not grasp. That’s lack of self-awareness and no control.  They were swept up in events and did not know what was happening, even though “they did those things to Him.” That’s amazing.  

Proverbs 20:24 says, “A man’s steps are directed by the Lord. How then can anyone understand his own way?”  Clearly this verse is saying, “You will not be aware of what is going on, you will not be in control and you will not understand what’s happening.  Slowly in life we fathom that we are not aware. 

We see today and tomorrow, but five years from now we look back and realize, “What has happened was not what I expected or planned for. How did I come to live in Wenatchee?  

A man can received only what is given him from Heaven (John 3:27). Being aware of ourselves is something that is given from above. Being in control is also a gift of God.  Huge differences of awareness and control are spread across the human population spectrum.   Some people are extremely perceptive, aware and in control.  Others less so.  Such is the individuality that God has created.  He is in total control.  

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